In the end expectations are only a guideline

Every so often my thought process pauses, and conciously our subconciously I withdraw and view things objectively. The process leads to a reflection often transmitted here in these posts. This ability to dis-attach is useful in many situations, be they academic, professional or everyday (hell Ive taken some of my favourite photographs which seem beautiful and emotive when in reality they are just excercises) ; and beyond crippling in others, arguments over the most trivial things can spiral into rows that lead to hurt so easily because I shut off and turn to some sort of robot. However, sometimes the calmed, calculating instinct is called for, maybe just maybe.

I justify this now because something very odd happened last Tuesday, I was driving down my road first thing in the morning on my way to work, the van in front of me braked rather suddenly. Nothing odd about that, until it then didn't move, and the driver got out holding his head in his hands. He looked back at me and I could see he was in tears. Not being able to see past the van I didn't see her until I got to the driver. Her was an eight year old girl. I don't know the exact details of what had just happened, but she was still and on the ground.

The driver was in shock, as in medical shock. He was sitting at the side of the road tears streaming down his face. No movement,not a word.

I don't remember thinking but I remember speaking to the 999 operator. She said five minutes, that figure stuck in my head. It took closer to 40 for the ambulance to arrive, I know because the Gardaí told me. For me it was the blink of an eye, she stopped breathing and she had to keep breathing. I am not the most athletic of individuals, but this kid was broken, and anything had to be done to fix her. When the ambulance came, I went home, changed showered and went to work. That day passed in a daze.

Her name is Aislinn. She is eight as of two weeks ago, and despite broken bones and a lot of healing to do she is going to be fine. Aislinn's parents rang me the following day. I plan on visiting her in hospital this week before she goes home.

So my life is not perfect, but I have a fulfilling career, a great home and some amazing friends. That Tuesday morning caught me off guard. In the end expectations are only a guideline.